Songs are not to be posted on other sites or printed for sale and are copyright property of the Egg Man.
I would love to hear your band cover a song, if you do send me the link and I will link you up here.
WonderlandRockopera songs are posted in the
https://wordpress.com/posts/wonderlandrockopera.wordpress.com
Still under construction, I have almost 100 songs, so this will take a lot of work.
Cock, Plow and Hole, Soon Comes Time, The Army Life, Banjo for the Band, I Wish My Finger, Bull Shit Song, Yo Ho, Blow the Man Down, My Dear Lady, 8 ball, 8 ball, Dead are Better Left on the Side of the Road, Balled of Donner Pass, I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king, Pink Cadillac, Knocking on Hell’s Gate, Sinking Ship, Buy me a beer, Don’t take me down to the river, Don’t Rock That Boat, Duck, Duck and Goose, Hoe, Holly Jack, I Clean Your Toilet, I Move On, Jericho, Little Brown Son, No mans ever walked on the moon, Noah Said To Ready His Ship, Put some pants on your Jesus, Saint Patrick, Secret Sauce, Ode to Joy, She aint yours she’s just your turn, You pump oil in the ground when you frac, All Kids grow up but one, Dead Man on Stick, Hidy Hidy Blow, High is the road I walk, Fe Fi Fo Fum, 10 year war at wounded knee, Migrant Song, I got no beans in my can, The Wheel
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Story about man who bought a chicken farm, found he had all Rooster, a plow that would not dig and a well that went dry
A G D A G D 4thcapo
My Cock Farm don’t make no eggs. Make no eggs, Make no eggs (2X)
Plow won’t dig, got a rusty blade, Rusty blade, Rusty Blade
Dug a well and the well went dry, well is dry, well is dry
Take my cock and hammer that hole, Hammer that hole, hammer that hole,
Cock and the plow and the well went dry, screw them cock and fuck that hole
G – A – D (2 measures)
A G D A G D
My wife she’s, dirty from the plow, gona wet her down, gona wet her down(2X)
Deepen that well, gona pound that hole, pound that hole, pound that hole
Cock in the well, got ta wash the cock, wash the cock, wash the cock
Take my cock and hammer that hole, Hammer that hole, hammer that hole,
Cock and the plow and the well went dry, screw them cock and fuck that hole
G – A – D (2 measures)
A G D A G D
Hole in the fence and cock ran out, cock came out, cock came out (2X)
Truck won’t pull the plow from dirt, Pull that plow, pull that plow
Can’t water that corn, cause the well went dry, pound that hole, pound that hole
Take my cock and hammer that hole, Hammer that well, hammer that well,
Cock and the plow and the well went dry, screw them cock and fuck that hole
G – A – D (2 measures)
A G D A G D
My Cock Farm don’t make no eggs. Make no eggs, Make no eggs (2X)
Plow won’t dig, got a rusty blade, Rusty blade, Rusty Blade
Dug a well and the well went dry, well is dry, well is dry
Take my cock and hammer that hole, Hammer that hole, hammer that hole,
Cock and the plow and the well went dry, screw them cock and fuck that hole
__________________________________________________________
Soon Comes Time
D G D D A D 4th capo
Soon comes time to rest my head,
Fine little angle come to bed
The he needs hawing in the sack
Take you front and take you back
Soon comes time to rest my bones,
Make you scream and make you moan
Soon comes time to take you home
Just say yes and don’t say no
D G D D A D
Soon comes time to spread your wings, square that round, ring that ring
Click that clack, cross them tees, Slide my cock between your knees
Grab your partner do-si-do, Side by side, toe to toe
Grab your partner do-si-do, Green means green go means go
Toe by Toe, Side by side, Slide my cock between them thighs
Well Fiddle that Fiddle, Bow that Bow, Hi Ho Hi Ho 3 times
Soon comes time to rest my mind, 2 times
swing that swing ride that ride
The he needs hawing in the hay,
come little angle come and play
Soon comes time to rest my rest, 2 times
Up that down, pet my pet
Swing that swing to and fro
Just say yes and Don’t say no
__________________________________________________________________________
G C D 4th capo
The Army life is not for me I run from every fight
I shit every morning and (jerk off every night)
C G D
I don’ march well in a line or pull my own weight
I go to sleep early and I wake up kinda late
I don’t bunk in a cot or a room full of men,
I’ll shoot myself in the foot or play dead if I can
C G D
The goose step is not for me, my knee bends just fine
A drill puts a hole in the wall, and will not waste my time
The helmets, its to heavy and stiffens up my neck
Boots are more for pirates or Peter Pan
C G D
I told them I was gay and they said that we don’t care,
Is there any way left to get the fuck out of here
They said when I run a way they’ll shot me in the rear
I might not be gay, but I think that’s pretty queer
Transgender, crossdresser, bi, slave or master
C G D
I don’t rally behind a flag, or have much in the way of pride,
I will be all I can be after, I run and hide,
I won’t attack the rear, or the front line,
When the tough get going, I fall right behind,
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Banjo for the Band
There’s a, pie in the oven, baking in the pan
Old wooden handle made a banjo for the band
There’s a, goat in the stewing pot, and skin for a drum
Gona beat that goat silly as the band plays on
Got a, fiddle from my grandpa and a base from a metal drum
Gona tap my foot to the tune, until the sun, it comes up
There’s, corn bread in the oven, bacon in the pan
An old metal pie ring, made a banjo for the band
Cow bone for the tuning nut, and pins placed for the bridge
Hide glue for the hard wood, and cat gut for the strings
Got a fiddle from my grandpa and a base from a metal drum
Gona tap my foot to the rhythm, until the sun, it comes up
There’s a, chicken pot pie roasting, shakers in the can
Pegs from a maple tree, made a banjo for the band
There’ crooners out for crooning, singing mountain songs
Steam from an apple pie as the band plays on
Got a fiddle from my grandpa and a base from a metal drum
Gona tap my foot double time, until the sun, it comes up
There’s, flower in the yeast and the dawn has a sun
The morning paper says, my band went number one.
With a, pie in the oven, baking in the pan, and a
Old wooden handle that made a banjo for the band
There’s, flower in the yeast and the dawn has a sun
The morning paper says, my band went number one.
There’s, corn bread in the oven, bacon in the pan
An old metal pie ring, made a banjo for the band
There’s, flower in the yeast and the dawn has a sun
The morning paper says, my band went number one.
There’s a, chicken pot pie roasting, shakers in the can
Pegs from a maple tree, made a banjo for the band
__________________________________________________________________________
I wish my finger
A D
I wish my finger smelled like Angie, and my cock Mary Ann,
A E
I wish my face was full of pussy pie, and I could do it all again
A D
I wish I had a chance with Sandy, and an extra inch for Linda Lew,
A E
I wish my wish for Hillary, would only come true.
A D
Beep beep beep beep, Beep beep beep beep,
A E
Beep beep beep beep, Beep Beep Beep
I wish two fingers smelled like Shawna, and my cock Magi’s Ass,
I wish my face was full of Titty and I could where a Titty hat
A D A E
I wish I had a 3 leg hooker (baby), I would bring her home to mom,
wish my wish for Hilary would, only last that long
Course
A D A E
I wish 3 fingers smelled like Nancy, I would never wash my hands,
If I had a chance with Betty, I’d do a pussy dance
A D A E
I wish I could date a Queen, I’d take her to the Zoo,
And, I wish my wish for Hilary would only come true
Course
I don’t wish my hand to disappears, but fear this might come true, This might be the first for me, but I’am not fucking you
A D A E
You think I am a circus clown, a Juggler or a fool, my wish I wish for Hilary, makes my balls blue
Course
I wish I had 3 wishes left, I’d spend them all on you, And I wish all 3 wishes, would only come true
I will load the wood in my peaker shit, dance and poo, If you want I’ll sing it again bill, the whole way through
Course
I wish 2 figures smelled like Tammy, and one like Tamys ass,
It would put some wood in my pecker and I would cum, shit and dance,
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Bull Shit Song
G D C G 4th capo
All the girls they love me, not one can stay away
I have slept with two sisters all in one day
And when I am out and about the town, The young girls chase me down
C D C G
I slept with the queen, I said no to a teen, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
All the girls they love me, not one can say no
My roaster is my cock and my cock is ready to go
And when I am out and about the town, The girls want to all take me home
C D C G
I fucked the queen, it hurts when I pee, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
All the girls they love me, not one can pass me by
Your kitty is my pussy and your pussy gives me rides
And when I am out and about the toon, All the girls, they flash their boobs
C D C G
I slept with the queen, I said no to a teen, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
All the girls they love me, not one can stay away
I fucked so hard and fuck so long it always hurts when I pee
And when I am out and about the town, The young girls chase me down
C D C G
I fucked the queen, it hurts when I pee, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
All the girls they love me, not one can say no
I always take the highroad and the girls they go down low
And when I am out and about the toon, All the girls flash their boobs
C D C G
I slept with the queen, I said no to a teen, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
All the girls they love me, not one can pass me by
The lady next to you sir is winking with her eye
And when I am out and about the toon, All the girls flash their boobs
C D C G
I fucked the queen, it hurts when I pee, and your barmaid flashes her tits……..Bull Shit
G D C G
I was lost and now I am found you could say, I was blind and now I see
G D C G
It was Grace who got my cock so hard, It was Grace that gave me relief
G D C G
How precious was Grace who appeared, in the hour of my need
__________________________________________________________________________
4th
G C G
There—‘s, an island of woman and me back at sea
G D G
Yo Ho, Blow the man Down,
G C G
An, Island of woman and they all want me,
G D G
A, Drunken Sailor, Blow the man Down,
Nothing but smiles and pearly white teeth,
Flesh, shells, flowers and beads,
I drifted ashore, from the Argonaut wreck,
They lassoed and tied me, with wood from my deck,
A gift from the ocean, a gift from the sea,
The Sirens were singing, each will have me,
I was pushed and pulled and battered about,
The ladies were rough and the beer was stout,
I begged for my freedom, my ship and my crew,
I was broken and worn like and old pair of shoes,
An, Island of woman and they all want me,
I was tied to the bed, so I would never leave,
Homer was wrong Ach-e-lees once said,
The Sirens wont eat you, as much as I begged,
There—‘s, an island of woman and me back at sea,
Each night they came, I never could sleep,
I left on a raft, in a new morning breeze,
I never looked back, one, is all I need
Repeat first line set……….if going well
__________________________________________________________________________
My Dear Lady
Intro repeat each time
G C G D
I was down in Muffin town dancing with 2 lady’s,
One was pink and one was brown, I think one is a winking,
One had a smile and one had a frown, both soft as a baby,
I grabbed her hands and pulled her in and told her she was pretty,
G C G D
Well, I go picking from the cherry tree, when its time for picking,
You can sure that fruit is as ripe as it can be, or it’s just a teasing,
G C G G D
Very well, Very well, My Dear, My Dear Lady (3X)
(2nd time around)
G C G G D
Well, I like to go to the willow tree and swing there from her branches
Eat me some pie and have a cup of tea, and wake up with no pants on
G C G G D
Very well, Very well, My Dear, My Dear Lady (3X)
(3rd time around)
G C G G D
Well, we can go picking from the raspberry tree, when it’s time for picking,
I pull the fruit as fast as I can eat, then lick all my fingers
G C G G D
Very well, Very well, My Dear, My Dear Lady (3X)
(4th time around)
G C G G D
Well, we can go down to the mulberry tree, pull them from her branches,
Eat me some pie and have a cup of tea, and wake up with no pants on
G C G G D
Very well, Very well, My Dear, My Dear Lady (3X)
__________________________________________________________________________
8 ball, 8 ball
F C G 3th capo
8 ball, 8 ball, I’ll take a line of coke,
Who’s got the crack pipe, I am looking for my dope,
Don’t Marley my spiff, or Charlie my blow,
Don’t steel my money or beat my hoe,
F C G
Jonestown, Jonestown, need a little fix,
Gone buy me a can of paint and rag to sniff,
Don’t Marley my joint, or Charlie the show,
Don’t steel my money or beat my hoe,
F C G
8 ball, 8 ball, I’ll take a line of coke,
Gone make me a hash pipe, and smoke all my dope,
Don’t Marley my spiff, or Charlie my blow,
Don’t steel my money or beat my hoe,
F C G
Jonestown, Jonestown, need a little fix,
Gone get my baggy, and blow this crib,
Don’t Marley my joint, or Charlie the show,
Don’t steel my money or beat my hoe,
F C G
8 ball, 8 ball, I’ll take a line of coke,
Gone drop a hit of acid, and go hopping with the toads,
Don’t Marley my spiff, or Charlie my blow,
Don’t steel my money or beat my hoe,
__________________________________________________________________________
Dead are Better Left on the Side of the Road
C D G D 4thcapo
A Whaling ship is a whaling boat, Skulls are skulls and bones are bones
C D C G
Mississippi 2 stepping Jack a Roe, The Dead are better left on the side of the road….2 times
Chorus
G C D
And Uncle Toms band plays the snake oil show
And everybody’s shaking it all down low
Rowing that boat into a sea of doom
I been sailing all day in a ship of fools ….2 times
C D G D
A river boat takes a river load, Skulls are skulls and bones are bones
C D C G
Mississippi 2 stepping Casey Jones, The Dead are better left on the side of the road….2 times
Chorus
C D G D
A Viking ship is a Viking boat, Skulls are skulls and bones are bones
C D C G
Mississippi 2 stepping levy gona go, The Dead are better left on the side of the road….2 times
Chorus
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Balled of Donner Pass
D G D A 3thcapo
I aint been down with the circus or clown, the Joker or the fool
And I aint getting high with the sun or the rise, the dawn, or the Eve
Down by the river Jordan and the Styx where the garden, is said to be
I’ll take the white rabbit ferry with the nail from Marry across, the great divide
Wrap my body with the Myrrh-el and Holly wood, thorns, from the rose leaf tree
But, I aint been down to the temple ground, praying on my knees
D G D A
I aint been up, side, run or turned or worn or tracked down
And I aint getting low with the lamb or the goat, the ram, or the sheep
So come, find me at the river sailing town where the Jordan and Tigris meet,
I’ll ride the white rabbit ferry with the nail from Marry, across, the un-known sea
Take the Frankincense and burnt incense to the rope at hanging tree
And, I aint been down to the sacred holly grounds, since I remain un-clean
D A G D
So take the, white rabbit ferry, nail from Marry, the coat Joseph bought for me
Take the rain and mud, sadness and love, and lick my wounds on clean
Blessed by the water of Jordan and Euphrates, to set my sole on free
Bring Iron for silver, and brass for gold, to the jasper river street
Take the thorns from the Myrrh-el and sycamore bush, and crown my head so it bleeds,
Standing before the Pearly Gates I was sentenced, to, eternal, sleep
G C D
I got a bottle of rum and a new eye Patch,
Going out on the town I got a pocket of cash,
Got a wooden leg but I still dance,
I am gona roll the dice, I am gona take my chance
I am gona roll the dice, I am gona take my chance
__________________________________________________________________________
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king
G C D
I got a big green parrot talking on my arm,
I got a flowed shirt and a big bright sun,
Work just called but I got to run
I am gona roll the dice, I am gona fan some fun
I am gona roll the dice, I am gona fan some fun
Course
C D
She’s a big tall cutie, neck full of lime
She’d cold as ice, she’s on my mind
Well I got me a six pack, not sure if that’s enough
C
Cause when I like to drink, I like to get fucked up
G C D
My ship sunk on a coral reef,
I spilled my margarita out in the sea,
I got two more good songs still to sing,
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king
Course
G C D
I got a bottle of rum and a new eye Patch,
Going out on the town I got a pocket of cash,
Got a wooden leg but I still dance,
I got two more good songs still to sing,
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king
Course
G C D
I got big baggy pants now and gold yellow teeth, my
Hat on backwards, I can’t write or read
I got 10 more good songs still to sing
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king
I aint Jimmy Buffet but who loves a king YO Yo YO Yo
__________________________________________________________________________
Pink Cadillac
5th Capo – Am = Dm and G = C and Dm = Gm
Am G Am G Am
Vegas starlight and Sin, Pink Cadillac out on the fringe,
Thunderbird and El Ranch, Pink Cadillac doing its Cadillac dance,
Neon Lights Rum and coke, Pink Cadillac out on the road,
Casio Royale, Red or Black, 2 queens and a one eyed jack,
I take it fast I take it quick, Got me a candle and a bang bang stick,
Roll the Cage shake the pit, Got me a candle and a bang bang stick,
Course
Dm Am Dm Am
Dessert sun dunes and sand, Outlaw playing in an out law band,
Dm Am Dm Em Am
Load the box car load those bones, 6 ways to make 7 go,
6 ways to make 7 go,
Am G Am G Am
Vegas Starlight and Sin, Pink Cadillac stopped at the dessert Inn,
Box cars hard 4 easy 6, Pink Cadillac doing its Cadillac thing,
Neon lights mix those drinks, High roller gold cuffs silver rings,
Pink Flamingo come out point, Roll those bones pass that joint,
I take it fast I take it quick, Got me a candle and a bang bang stick,
Roll the Cage ride that tilt, Got me a candle and a bang bang stick,
Course
Am G Am G Am
Pink Cadillac out at the ranch, Pink Cadillac doing its Cadillac dance,
Pink Cadillac out at the bunny ranch, Pink Cadillac doing its Cadillac dance,
Course
__________________________________________________________________________
Knocking on Hell’s Gate
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Gate,
I got Blood on my hands a grin on my face,
Heaven went dark I stole the candle stick,
My name is jack, I am nimble light and quick,
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Door,
Please let me in I can’t take these crazy church people anymore,
I rode with Ali Baba and his 40 thieves
My name is Jack open Sesame,
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Gate,
Please let me in, these crazy church people drive me insane,
1001 nights and I can’t wait,
My name is Jack and I aint no saint,
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Door,
Give me a badge and 40 dirty whores,
I want a lamb and I want a shank,
My name is Jack and I am hear to take over this place,
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Gate,
Can you hear my trumpet and my shouts?
Rehab drop your red red rope on down,
My name is Jack, I am over the walls at Jericho Town,
A A DD E
Say who’s in charge of this place,
My name is Jack and I aint no saint,
Where’s Satan and the Babylonian whore,
My name is Jack and I can get through any door,
A A DD E
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Gate,
My name is Jack and I aint no saint,
Knock Knock Knocking on Hells Gate,
My name is Jack and I aint no saint,
__________________________________________________________________________
Sinking Ship
2X Slow / 1 fast
A C G 5th’s
Well it’s a Sinking Ship on a new day past,
A C G A C G
It’s a rainy morning with the wind at my back, I will last, last, last…… When her
A C G
dark clouds spreads her wings over,
A C G
my, sunny……. day, I find my
A C G
way, I’ll find my
A
Way………………………………. Well there’s
A C G
dew on the flowers and mulch in the yard, ….and she
wont know I am gone till she comes home,…. But I am
gone, baby I am
gone,
Course Well there’s
A C G
freedom out the door and down on the road,….and the
food here is poisoned and I am sick as a dog,…And the
phone it won’t stop ringing…..at the
crack of dawn…….And I’ll
gone, baby I am
gone Now there’s a
cross in the road and a preach in the bed,… And a
vision of a golden ram, the book of Denial,
I know I am a demon; well that’s what
she said, that’s what
I came home with flowers, but I am
not sure what I did wrong, And
she still wont talk to me and just,
hangs out on that phone, And the
rabbits in the magic hat …..and the
sword well its in the …………stone………….
Course When a
nasty storm runs through the town …and my
shit flies out on the curb, ………………a
hair monster jumps out of the door and tells
me to go fuck off and
her dark night makes my rain bow,………..no,
No, go a way,
No, go a way,
Fat Fed the cat sits on my pillow …….and
pees into my shoes…………the
eagle plucks my baby duck ……off the
porch out under the moon………………and
Lightening strikes my heart and takes my
thunder a way,
thunder a way,
Slow G D G D
There’s a bad moon rising and my sun has gone to hide,
And, Belladonna the werewolf just, elbowed me in the side
And, I am sailing now my pillow but I am sure I’ll be gone with the tide,
Well it’s a
A C G
Sinking Ship on a new day past, …. It’s a
rainy morning with the wind at my back, …..I will
last, last, last
last
__________________________________________________________________________
Round Peak Mountain Style
G D C G 4thcapo
Shoe Fly on the Cherry Pie in Round Peak Mountain Style
Get you a fiddle, at you a drum, saw and bang all night
Get you a girl with a pretty smile to bring you homemade wine
Nashville can have its king and all its county fools
Rhinestones make you look so pretty, like a peacock at a zoo
Noah can have his boat and all the blue suede shoes
Mountain music don’t need them any how or any Jesus Jews
C G D G
We wont be playing no radio show or any radio tunes
G D C G
Shoe Fly on the Apple Pie in Round Peak Mountain Style
Get you a fiddle, and a copper still, thumping out moonshine
Get you a girl to do-si-do until the end of time
Nashville can have its king and all its county fools
Rhinestones make you look so pretty, like a peacock at a zoo
Noah can have his boat and all the blue suede shoes
Mountain music don’t need them any how or any Jesus Jews
C G D G
We wont be playing no radio show or any radio tunes
G D C G
Shoe Fly on the Shoe Fly Pie in Round Peak Mountain Style
Get you a fiddle, and a flat foot tune sing and dance all night
Get you a girl that don’t say no and don’t ever grow old
Nashville can have its king and all its county fools
Rhinestones make you look so pretty, like a peacock at a zoo
Noah can have his boat and all the blue suede shoes
Mountain music don’t need them any how or any Jesus Jews
C G D G
We wont be playing no radio show or any radio tunes
__________________________________________________________________________
Buy me a beer
A G D A G D 6thcapo
Buy me a beer and I will sing you a song, I’ll sing and dance, I play guitar
It wont be slow and it wont be sad, I’ll be happy as a rat in trash
One beer gone they never last, no time to even put in glass
D A G
One Beer, one Beer, One Beer Gone 4 times, 3 sung
A G D A G D 6thcapo
Buy me a beer and I will sing you a song, I’ll dance and sing and string you along
I wont make you cry or sad to stay, I’ll be happy as a fish in rain
Two beers gone they never last, no need to even put in glass
D A G
Two Beers, Two Beers, Two Beers Gone 4 times, 3 sung
A G D A G D 6thcapo
Buy me a beer and I will sing you a song, I’ll sing and dance, I play guitar
It wont be short and might be long, I’ll be happy as a monkey’s ass
Three beers gone they never last, no time to even put in glass
D A G
Three Beers, Three Beers, Three Beers Gone 4 times, 3 sung
Four beer, Four beers I got to drive home
I can’t sing all night this stupid song
California
Funny song, about this crack whore hotel bar that some other open mic performer, a Jesus freak, complained about me singing dirty songs.
2935 N Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33306
C F C G 3rd capo
I sing Elvis songs, at a motel bar, outside a white rock castle
If you want to get high, dance with a guy, here you get both by the hour
You can live it up, or string it out, we can sing about it tomorrow
Drop a tip in the jar, a wave from the bar, Cause this aint California
Cause this aint California
C F C G
I sing Elvis songs, at a motel bar, outside a white rock castle
If you can shot it up, or break it down, we can free base it by the morning
If you want to drink wine, margarita and lime, there is a place well down the highway
Drop a tip in the jar, a wave from the bar, Cause this aint California
Cause this aint California Cause this aint California
C F C G
I sing Elvis songs, the blue moon is gone, outside a white rock castle
There’s a room with a view, of next doors pool, and no sound of sleep for hours
It’s a heartbreak hotel, of burning love, but that’s alright, it’s all right
Drop a tip in the jar, a wave from the bar, Cause this aint California
Cause this aint California Cause this aint California
C F C G
I sing Elvis songs, at a motel bar, outside a white rock castle
I strum my guitar; sing to the lady at the bar, my room number is two O four
Come by anytime, I have champagne on ice, and a line of blow on the table
Drop a tip in the jar, a wave from the bar, Cause this aint California
Cause this aint California Cause this aint California
__________________________________________________________________________
Don’t take me down to the river
G D
Don’t take me down to the river, Don’t wash my sins from me
C G
My body is not sacred and, My thoughts are all unclean
G D
Saint Peter can’t help me now, I was born with a wicket streak
C G D
I sold my sole to the devil and I’ll have another drink
G D
Don’t take me down to the river, Don’t wash my sins away
C G
I don’t want your pearly gates no more, don’t set my sole on free
G D
Saint Peter can’t help me now, I was born with a wicket streak
C G D
I sold my sole to the devil and I’ll have another drink
G D
Don’t take me down to the river, Don’t wash my sins from me
C G
I’ll drink myself to the next life, where ever it will be
G D
Saint Peter can’t help me now, my ship is ready to sink
C G D
I sold my sole to the devil and I’ll have another drink
G D
Don’t take me down to the river, Don’t set my sole free
Don’t take me down to the river, and I’ll have another drink
__________________________________________________________________________
Don’t Rock That Boat 4th capo
C C G C C G C C G C C G
I came in high I Went down low I Grow up fine, Than I got old
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I Got Hard, Now I am Soft I got saved, Now I am lost
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I found god, he found me, nailed me up, to an old oak tree
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I built a raft, I made it float, Sent it out, it got a hole
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I came in high, sunk down low, drank my wine, smoked my smoke
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I take the gold, it turns to coal, I wet my thirst, It’s an empty bowl
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I make a fire, It wouldn’t last, build a roof, The roof collapsed
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
I found god, He found me, sent me to a desert, with nothing to eat
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
Trad-ed a cow, For magic beans, nothing grow, but thorns and weeds
Don’t Rock that Boat, I said, Don’t Rock that Boat,
__________________________________________________________________________
Duck, Duck and Goose
G F C G C F C 3rd capo
I seen what it takes I been like this for many-a-day
Happy smile on my face just paint that washes away
I’aint good at anything I do Here’s a lolly pop for you
It’s a give and take I been early and I been late
I don’t ever change I don’t even try and play the game
I don’t follow the rules Whats good for me aint good for you
I seen what it takes Nothing put clowns and cake
Happy mile on my face nothing but cloud and rain
I aint know ones fool Here’s a lolly pop for you
It’s a give and take I aint a sleep and I aint awake
I kneel down and pray God don’t hear anything I say
There’s me and there are rules What’s good for me aint good for you
G F C G C F C
Duck, Duck and Goose Here’s a lolly pop for you
Duck, Duck and Goose Whats good for me aint good for you
__________________________________________________________________________
Hoe
D C G G D G 4thcapo
Bought me a farm and got me a hoe Hoho Hoho Ho
Gona plow the earth gona dig me a hole Hoho Hoho Ho
She aint so pretty and she aint so clean, She aint so nice and she aint so mean
She’s the best plow I’ve ever owner Hoho Hoho Ho
Work her all day put her out on lone Hoho Hoho Ho
She never complains and she is never broke, She always goes out and always come home
D C G G D G
Up down, up down, up down up Up down up down wood in the butt
D C G G D G
My farm got the best farm hoe Hoho Hoho Ho
Pull her with a bull I call big back Moe Hoho Hoho Ho
She aint so pretty and she aint so clean, She aint so nice and she aint so mean
Dig that dirty and dirty that hoe Hoho Hoho Ho
Gona sew that sow and sow that sew Hoho Hoho Ho
She never complains and she is never broke, She always goes out and always come home
D C G G D G
Up down, up down, up down up Up down up down wood in the butt
D C G G D G
Take her to the woods, keep her in the barn Hoho Hoho Ho
Use her with a friend big or small Hoho Hoho Ho
She aint so pretty and she aint so clean, She aint so nice and she aint so mean
Oil that wood, grease that spade Hoho Hoho Ho
Work her night and work her day Hoho Hoho Ho
She never complains and she is never broke, She always goes out and always come home
D C G G D G
Up down, up down, up down up Up down up down wood in the butt
__________________________________________________________________________
Holly Jack
C G Am C G Am 4thcapo
And all the vampires with have there way, at the Temple of the Sun…..And
the Red red blood from heart to vein, will spill from gun to gun…..And the
Negros forced free from farm, to be eaten one by one…..And the
Big big man in the bigman hat, Will smile when it’s done
And the Ripper said to holy Jack, It’s madness what you say…..But
Heavy is the water you drank, and Pious is your way…..You
Better be nimble and better be quick, cause Time tells day to day…..And the
Man in the crown and golden haze, Will rise and say your name
And the prices you can take the blame, Smile with no shame…..And
Send all men and mouse to war, to be, Chopped down by the same…..And
Clubs and rocks from mountain tops, Rain down on your parade…..And the
Big big man in the bigman hat, Sand will blow away
And Holy Jack don’t touch that bell, or Ring it like you say
With Alters and candle sticks, Knell down and let us pray…..You
Better be nimble and better be quick, cause you’ll burn for your shame…..And the
Man in the crow and golden haze, Will rise and say your name
Tempo change
And all the vampires with have there way, at the Temple of the Sun…..And
the Red red blood from heart to vein, will spill from gun to gun…..And the
Negros forced free from farm, to be eaten one by one…..And the
Big big man in the bigman hat, Will smile when it’s done
__________________________________________________________________________
I Clean Your Toilet Uke song
G F C G F C
I cross the border, to clean your toilet, I cross a desert to serve you food
I came in ship to pick your cotton, I sit down here to shin your shoes
C F C
Somewhere is somewhere across the river,
Somewhere is somewhere across a fence
Some ocean is across some ocean,
But no rainbow has an end
G F C G F C
I cross a mind field to sweep your floors, I walk on bones to build a school
I came in slave ship to work your plow, I sit down here to shin your shoes
Chorus
G F C G F C
I cross into the land of the forgotten, I cross to the bottom of the bottom
I came in slave ship, to sing your blues, I sit down here to shin your shoes
C F C
Somewhere is somewhere with a different master,
Somewhere is somewhere I serve you,
Some fall on this great journey
But no rainbow, is nothing new
__________________________________________________________________________
I Move On
C. G. C. G C. G. C. G
I’ve been down, l’ve been up I’ve been around, I’ve been stuck
I have been home, and I have been gone,
D C. G
When the road calls me, I move on
C. G. C. G
(2X) I move on, I move on
C. G. C. G C. G. C. G
I’ve been lost, l’ve been found I’ve been saved, I’ve been drowned
l’ve been drunk, I’ve fallen down,
D C. G
When the road calls me, I move around
C. G. C. G
(2X) I move on, I move around
C. G. C. G C. G. C. G
I’ve been here, l’ve been gone I live my life, Like there’s no tomorrow
I have seen the light, From the dark
D C. G
When the road calls me, I get lost
C. G. C. G
I move on, I move around
I move on, From town to town
C. G. C. G
And, I met Virgil, at the folk in the road
Said he could guide me, and get me home,
I told Virgil, I know where to go
D C. G
When the road calls me, I go alone
C. G. C. G
I move on, I move around
I move on, From town to town
I move on, On my own
__________________________________________________________________________
Jericho 4th
D A D A
I been to Jericho, Jericho, Jericho (2X)
I been a captain, a captain, a captain
I shot a cannon, a cannon, a cannon
Chorus
D G D A
I been past the river, past the river, past the past
I stood at Concord, fighting the crown
D A D G
But, there’s nothing like jumping, the other side of the wall
It’s a horror, It’s a horror I leave for the gods
So lets drink for our bothers who have fallen and fallen
D A D A
Let’s drink for our brothers, who have fallen today (Budweiser beer)
D A D A
I been a cowboy, cowboy, a cowboy (2X)
Rode out west, walked through death valley,
I’ve seen the Apache, Apache, Apache,
Ride the war path with spear and hatchet,
Chorus
D A D A
I been to Jericho, Jericho, Jericho (2X)
I been to the wall, to the wall, to the wall,
I heard the trumpet shout out its song,
No one want in and no one came out
Chorus
__________________________________________________________________________
Little Brown Son
Little Brown Son –you might be a racist if you don’t find song funny
Slow
D A D G 4thcapo
God made you, and god made me and the little brown son in our family tree
D A G A
Grandpa don’t think it right, but god is great and god has spite
D G D A
Me my wife live all alone with little brown son we call are own
D G D A D
Down by the garden Eve, Son don’t look like her or me……. Chorus
D D G A
Little Brown Son, Little Brown Son, Strong as a mule, built Like a Bull
Little Brown Son, Little Brown Son, I play the fiddle and he plays the drum
D G D A
Me my wife and little brown son, work the field with Cotton Eye Tom
D G D A D
She plants and Tom pulls stock, I sleep all day with the chicken and cock……. Chorus
D G D A
Me my wife live all alone with little brown son on a cotton farm
D G D A G
He don’t look like her or me, More like Tom dark as a tree……. Chorus
D G D A
Me my wife and little brown son, Go to church and thank the lord
D G D A G
Me my son sleep all day, Wife works with Tom in the Hay……. Chorus
D G D A
Me my wife live all alone with little brown son, deep in the south
D G D A D
No one cheats and no one lies, God gave us this miracle child
D D G A
Little Brown Son, Little Brown Son, Looks like Tom with God’s love
Little Brown Son, Little Brown Son, A baby brother is soon to come
Little Brown Son, Little Brown Son, I play the fiddle and he plays the drum
__________________________________________________________________________
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D G C 6thcapo
I aint stupid and I aint a fool, I aint an actor in a silver suit
G D
Bouncing on a bungy like a monkey at the zoo
C G D
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D G C
I aint stupid and I aint a fool, I aint a science teacher at a bible school
Tied to a string floating in a pool
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D G C
I aint stupid and I aint a fool, wasn’t born yesterday, I aint a tool
Nobody leaves earth and returns
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D G C
I aint stupid and I aint a fool, I don’t believe everything taught in a school
I aint used and I aint new
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D G C
I aint stupid and I aint a fool, I don’t believe the government or the news
I don’t buy a bridge or lies from you
No mans ever walked on the moon
G D
Well there’s a race in the space and a space in the race
One small step in a big step game
We don’t go cause its easy, we don’t go cause its hard
G C
Spending all your money on shinny stars
G D
Spending all your money on shinny stars
__________________________________________________________________________
Noah Said To Ready His Ship
G D G C 4thcapo
Noah said to ready his ship, Find a rhino with a horn and tiger with skin
G C G D
A Python, a Mamba and a Cobra as king, Birds with their feathers and a church with no sin
G D C G
OK…Just the Rhino and tiger and a Vio-lin 3 times
G D G C
Noah said to ready the ship, Find a Gibson guitar from 1956
G C G D
A queer and a dike and a Chic with a dick, A stand up bass and a church with no sin
G D C G
OK…Just the Guitar and the bass and a Vio-lin 3 times
G D G C
Noah said to ready his ship, he wants a drum and a banjo tuned to the fifths
G C G D
Take a rapper and DJ with records to spin, The king and the queen and a church with no sin
G D C G
OK…Just the drum and banjo and a Vio-lin 3 times
G D G C
Bring wine from the supper a goat and a pig, Jesus in a diaper hanging on a stick …….or (A bible and Koran and crucifix)
G D
A mother and child and church with no sin
G D C G
WaWa…Just the wine and the mother and a Vio-lin 3 times
G C
Leave the spiders and all the Creepy crawly things
G D
Leave the Mormons’ and the Jehovah’s since this is their wish
G C
Leave the pope to save the poor
G D
And sell blessing to the rich
D G D A
__________________________________________________________________________
Put some pants on your Jesus
The song is about the wife who joins a cult that worships a nude Jesus on a cross. The husband is pissed because the wife comes home with a naked Jesus cross and puts it over his bed.
6thcapo
My wife now loves Jesus, and placed him on the wall
Naked as a J-bird, I am staring at his dong
Above our bed he hangs, I look up and see his dick
God forbid I mention, he’s hanging on a stick
Chorus
D G
Put some pants on your Jesus, Put some Jesus in some pants
D A
Put a bandied on his forehead, Put a bandied on his hands
D A D
Take Jesus off the wall and keep Jesus out of bed
D G D A
My wife is now born again, and things are cold in bed
She says that he is watching her, and she doesn’t want to sin
Above our bed he hangs, I look up and see his dick
God forbid I mention, he’s hanging on a stick
Chorus
D G D A
My wife is now saved, and I am getting pissed
Church is just on Sunday not, every day of the week
Above our bed he hangs, I look up and see his dick
God forbid I mention, he’s hanging on a stick
Chorus
D G D A
I took Jesus off the wall and, hung him in the bath
If there is a devil in this house, it’s coming out her ass
I painted pants on his skinny legs, I covered up the blood
I did my best for him for sure and wished him the best of luck
Chorus
__________________________________________________________________________
Saint Patrick
D G D A 6thcapo
Saint Patrick said we couldn’t drink in the day of our lord
We couldn’t curse or smoke our pipes or visit mermaid girls
I know we’re all damned to hell, we have heard this all before,
But living life for the next life, is senseless and a bore
Chorus
D A D G D A D
With beer to drink and pipes to smoke and mermaids dry as bone
D G D A D G D
What’s an Irish man to do today with Patrick watching close,
What’s an Irish man to do today with Patrick’s holly ghost,
What’s an Irish man to do today with this silly ghost,
D G D A
With Patrick all up in arms, we dyed our beer green
And, we told old Saint Patrick it was tea sent from the queen
But Patrick saw us having fun, and drinking too much tea
He pinched us to find the drunks, but not the ones who wore green
Chorus
D G D A
Saint Patrick marched up and down the square keeping the mermaids dry
So the mermaids dressed as Leprechauns which pleased old Patrick’s eye
And, down the street 1, 2, 3 came a sea of green
And, to this day we have parades to remember the day Patrick died.
Chorus
D G D A
So every year we dye our beer and trick that silly ghost
And, pinch you if you’re not in green to save your drunken sole
__________________________________________________________________________
Secret Sauce
C D G C D G
I got your secret sauce, your cheeseburger, at the end of the dock
Hog Fish pulling on the line, 6 pack of Heineken light
I am your strew in your coconut, I am your 5 o’clock all day long
Palm trees, banana leaves and dominos, Nothing but sun at the end of the road
C D G C D G
I got your secret sauce, conch fish crawling into a boiling pot
Nothing but free hands of time 6 pack of Heineken light
I am your long lost dog, Foot long weenie grilling at the dock
Salt water running between my toes Nothing but sun at the end of the road
C D G C D G
I got your secret sauce, Key West full for a Saturday night
Last party before we all up and die 6 pack of Heineken light
I am your tequila double shot Spanish line and ring of salt
Camping out on Big Key Pine Nothing but morning sun rise
C D G C D G
I am your over board, Last stop before we see the coral reef
All night party that goes till dawn, 6 pack of Heineken all gone
__________________________________________________________________________
Ode to Joy
Male
I have something you don’t have but I can show you what it is,
what it is, what it is, I can show you what it is
It’s long and thick and fat and bowed, and I don’t know where it goes,
where it goes, where it goes, I don’t know where it goes,
Female
I have something you can’t see, it’s something in the front of me,
It’s like the back, It’s like the back, It’s only in the front of me,
Male Female Both
My names Adam, My names Eve, Let’s lay down here by the tree
Both
By the tree, By the tree, Birds and the bees and the serpent makes 3
__________________________________________________________________________
She aint yours she’s just your turn
D G D C —–G 5th Capo
She aint the Sea under your Moon
She aint the rhythm to your blues
No bodies baby to teach and learn
No Fire to light and let burn
D C G C —–
She aint yours she’s just your turn 2X
D G D C —–G
She aint the soles in your shoes
She aint the rhythm in your blues
No grain of sand in your dunes
No midnight oil to let burn
D C G C —–
She aint yours she’s just your turn 2X
D G D C —–G
She no valley to your kings
She’s no Queen Albert to your prince
Nothing to send in return
Nothing to crash and let burn
D C G C —–
She aint yours she’s just your turn 2X
D G D C —–G
She’s no love in your romance
She’s no step in your Cancan dance
No hot sauce in your sauce pan
Not a candle to light and let burn
D C G C —–
She aint yours she’s just your turn 2X
D G D C —–G
She’s no bank in your big plan
No pepper in your yippy yippy Cayenne
No ding dong to your Japan
No fire to light and let burn
D C G C —–
She aint yours she’s just your turn 2X
__________________________________________________________________________
You pump oil in the ground when you frac 4th capo
G D
You pump oil in the ground when you frac, You pump oil in the ground when you frac,
C D C D
Oil goes down and then comes up, Floats on water like a boat or duck,
(Chorus)
G D
You’ll drink the oil in your well, You’ll drink the oil in your well
C D C D
You can’t grow crops or feed livestock, And the land is good as dead,
G D
No trees, No trees, No trees, No birds, No birds, No bees,
C G D
And the bees, And the bees, And the bees, And the bees, And the bees,
G
And the bees, And the bees,
G D
You pump oil in the ground when you frac, You pump oil in the ground when you frac,
C D C D
Oil goes down and then comes back, It’s used oil from the recycle vat,
(Chorus)
G
And there are laws against pumping oil in the ground,
D
I know, there are laws against pumping oil in the ground,
C D
Oil goes down and then then comes up,
C D
Exxon don’t give a filing fuck
(Chorus)
__________________________________________________________________________
oneAll Kids grow up but
All Kids grow up but one
D G D A G D 6thcap
All Kids grow up but one, Cake for Breakfast Pie for Lunch
D G D A G D
All Kids grow up but me, Monkey do, Monkey See
D G D A G D
Schools for Tards and works for bees, Monkey do, Monkey See
D A G
Well, skipping and hopping and jumping and play
Smash a window run away
Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake “catch a toad”………………….”Play in the road”
D G A
The Young get young and the old get old
D G D A G D 6thcap
All Kids grow up but one, Stay up late miss the bus
D G D A G D
All Kids grow up but me, Monkey do, Monkey See
D G D A G D
Woodpecker peckin on the Woodpecker tree, Monkey do, Monkey See
slow
D A G D G D
Tinkle tinkle little star, Stand on a chair and pee real far
D G D A G D
All Kids grow up but one, Aint no devil to having fun
D G D A G D
All Kids grow up but me, Monkey do, Monkey See
D G D A G D
Happy Ho Ho and Ding Dong king, Monkey do, Monkey See
__________________________________________________________________________
Dead Man on Stick
D A G 6thcapo
Deadman on a stick and the stick is a cross
It’s Jesus in a diaper hanging on the wall
Jews don’t have a Jesus but a David and a star
And they’re both around the corner fighting in a bar
D A D
God in heaven and Jesus on the wall
God in heaven and David is a star
D A G
And they’re both around the corner fighting in a bar
D A G
Samson killing lions with his bare hands
Denials in the den pulling cougars by the tails
O Hercules, O Hercules where did you go
The Iliad and Odyssey, no one seems to know, Hey
He’s out behind the circus in the ten in one show
Course
D A G
Hades is the Devil and the Minotaur to
Poseidon becomes a whale and Jonah his food
Jesus turns water into moon shin
David gets drunk and kills the Jolly Green Giant
One’s in a round and ones in a square
Both can find their back on out of here
Course
D A
And everyone is waiting there, all for the end of the
D A
Never ending story to start up again
…..Repeat first verse
__________________________________________________________________________
Hidy Hidy Blow
D G D A 5thcapo
When I die, I’ll go straight to hell, Heaven–> won’t let me in
D G D A
I was born with horns, and a curly tail, Hidy–>Hidy hoe
D G D A
Preacher said too poor to bless my sole, And the church–> is for the king
Chorus
D G A D
Moma said she had a demon child, Who would sin–> and sin
D G A D
2X Hard wood hard from Plowing the Hoes, Hidy–>Hidy Hoe (Blow)
D G D A
When I die, dirt will swallow me down, St Peter–> wont share his gold
D G D A
No, Silver to buy angel wings Hidy–>Hidy hoe
D G D A
Preacher wont cross the road, To bless–> my rotten sole
Chorus
D G D A
When I die, Hell will be my home Heaven–> won’t let me in
D G D A
Demon’s and witches will collect my bones, And call me–>Their lizard king
D G D A
Hidy, Hidy, Hidy hoe I will rule, serpents and toads
Chorus
D G D A
When I die, I will sit on a thrown Satan–> will be me
D G D A
When I lived, I had no say In death–> I’ll be the king
D G D A
When I die, I will sit on a thrown Hell will be my home
__________________________________________________________________________
High is the road I walk
High is the road I walk, my shit don’t smell like poo
God has forsaken me and, the evil that I do
Wicket are my wicked ways, but now I am saved
Satan has accepted me and all my evil ways
High is the road I walk, my shit smells like a rose
My spirit is lost to me, my virtue is unknown
Wicket are the things I do, here I sell my sole
Satan has accepted me and hell shall be my home
High is the road I walk, my shit don’t smell like poo
Dammed like a demon, Lost from god’s love
Wicket are the things I say but, but now I am saved
Satan has accepted me and all my evil ways
High is the road I walk, my shit smells like a rose
Grateful is the dead they say, Don’t put that on my stone
Father I say fuck you, One day I will rise
Satan has accepted me and In death, I find my life
__________________________________________________________________________
Fe Fi Fo Fum
G D C 4thcapo
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
Bread for the body, and wine for blood,
Rise roast, roll and rub,
Steak for the giat who cuts you up,
I’ll say grace and toast to the sun,
I’ll fill my belly with beer and Rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
Where’s your body, I smell your blood,
Beat you, bone you, pull your pulp,
I’ll wash you, skin you, like a duck,
Stir, stew, strain till done,
I’ll fill my belly with beer and rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
I’ll use your skull to drink drink your blood,
Carve you like a Sunday bird,
Dressed in Gravy, braised and burnt,
With day old ryn, topped and stuffed,
I’ll fill my belly with beer and rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
Bread for the body and wine for blood,
Father son and holy ghost,
I’ll take my blessing with you on toast,
Grace to the gods, drink to the sun,
I’ll fill my belly with beer and rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
Where’s your body, I smell your blood,
Come little checken, I’ll bread you up,
I’ll brush and brown you, fry you with love,
Char and crisp you till your done,
I’ll fill my body with beer and rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
I’ll use your skull to drink your blood.
Grind you, glaze you, butter you up,
Season, sear, roll and rub,
Cloven hooves, chew your cud,
I’ll fill my belly with beer and rum,
Fe Fi Fo Fum,
Bread for the body and wine for blood,
Grace to the gods for the this last summer,
__________________________________________________________________________
10 year war at wounded knee
Chicken in the railroad, waving down a car,
Momma got Papa buried deep in the yard,
Grandma said 1, 2 ,3,
got a 10 year war at wounded knee(2X)
Chorus,
Cross in the road at the railroad sign,
Last supper at the 5 and dime,
Train gona, ride me till I’am gone,
June got a June bug all June long, (2X)
Chorus,
Roaster on the Mailbox, Clucking like a clock,
Momma say’s the news gets here by dark,
Chicken in the soup reading A, B, C
Birds with the birds and the bees with the bees,
Chorus,
Governer said the states just fine,
Homeless man shacks me down for a dime,
And, I been up 10 miles high,
In a big air-o-plane in a bigger sky, (2X)
Chorus,
Chicken peaking worms out in the pen,
Mamma buried papa out near the fence,
Grandma said to Injun chief,
I got a 10 year war at wounded knee, (2X) Chorus,
Chorus,
__________________________________________________________________________
Migrant Song
A Em A A 4thcapo
What road we walk, Is what road was cut,
Long before there was a road,
What sky we see, what god we preach,
A Em A
came down from a mountain home,
A Em A Em
What birds and bees, vallays of trees,
A G A
from each lake, river to stream,
What ocean we cross, of broken hearts,
from each wound we bleed,
What stars light our way, each moon a new face,
we push on from where we came,
What train we ride, what cattle we drive,
Long before there was a home,
What turn we take, each cross a snake,
Come down from a silent road,
What time we wait, each sound of waves,
Moves our ship from the sea,
What each believes, from war to peace,
From each wound we bleed,
What sun shall rise, how dark is the night,
We push on from where we came,
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I got no beans in my can 6thcapo
G C G D
I got no beans in my can, No can in my Sack, No Sack in my hands,
I got no shirt on my back, no shoes on my feet, no tracks left in the sand,
I got no sun in my eyes, cloud in the sky, and my bones rest out in a field,
And, the wind wont stop blowing me, farther from my home,
Course, G D G D
What a ride I caught from Tombstone, hauling freight on the line,
G D G C
What a ride I caught from Tombstone, left only dirty in my eyes
Cause I got………
No beans in my can, no can in my sack, no sack tied to my back,
No belt for my pants, no buttons for my shirt and both hands are full of sand,
There’s no watch in my pocket, 2 cents in my draws and nothing to raddled but bones,
Course, Cause I got………
No beans in my can, no can in my pack, no food since I left you,
There’s no wine in my cup, no whisky in my jar, no clowns to play fool,
I have no dream in my mind, no birds to watch fly, no flesh to dry under the sun,
And, the wind it keeps blowing me farther from my love,
Course,
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The Wheel
This is a short play about history that makes no sense. Everything is obnoxiously wrong, mocked and turned up side down. The wheel becomes the central character to the most famous things, people and places. The wheel even replaces the Jesus cross and other fantastical stuff. It would be tossed Off Broadway and sold out at the same time.
Beginning
A. G A. D.
In a time, before man would walk, In a time before the summer frost,
A. G D. A. G D.
Before the sky, land and water gods, A wheel appeared out of the dark, and
A. G D A. G D
Once the world was covered in mud, and One wheel was placed on a one wheel cart,
A. G D. A. G D
And, the Big wheel made the small wheel large, And, the big wheel made the small wheel large
And, it turned and it turned, till all was lost, And, one wheel made a two wheel cart,
Which was Pulled through dirt mud and rock, And, the third wheel made a 4 wheel god, (2X)
Wheel Song 5th capo
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft goes, clack clack clack, clack clack clack, clack clack clack
Bang bang bang take the Cadillac, take the Cadillac, take the Cadillac,
One wheel rolls and one wheel pulls, One wheel turns and one wheel sings,
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft goes, ding-a-ling ling, ding-a-ling ling, ding-a-ling ling
Bang bang bang, gona shit in the sink, Oh my god, shit in the sink
One wheel turns and one wheel spins, One wheel jumps and one wheel sings,
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft is barking like a dog, barking like a dog, barking like a dog,
Gona, run run run make the big wheel small, big wheel small, big wheel small
One wheel pulls and one wheel goes, One wheel turns and one wheel rolls,
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft goes, clack clack clack, clack clack clack, clack clack clack
Bang bang bang take the Cadillac, take the Cadillac, take the Cadillac,
One wheel turns and one wheel spins, One wheel jumps and one wheel sings,
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft goes, ding-a-ling ling, ding-a-ling ling, ding-a-ling ling
Bang bang bang, gone square ring, gone square the ring, gone square the ring,
One wheel turns and one wheel spins, One wheel jumps and one wheel sings,
D G D G
The Wheel in the shaft is purring like a cat, purring like a cat, purring like a cat,
Gona, run run run make the big wheel flat, the big wheel flat, the big wheel flat
One wheel pulls and one wheel goes, One wheel turns and one wheel rolls
Wheelie Song 3rd c
D A. G D
My wheel is a Wheelie my brakes are quite squeally, Turning and turning and not moving at all
4 doors that trap me and hold and wrap me, I am a package of meat, flab and bone,
My wheel is a circle, polished and round, I go up a hill and down, down, down,
I once was a cabby, a cabby was I, I would honk my horn and flash my lights,
G D G D
Well I rolled a buss, and, I rolled a train, I take to work and home again
D A. G D
My wheel is Wheelie my tires break easy, I have been pumped up and flat, nearly all my life,
My wheel is quite flirty, my girls are perky, My dogs have been barking from morning to night,
I turn my wheel from north to south, I go up a hill and down, down, down,
I once was a cabby, a cabby was I, I would honk my horn and flash my lights,
G D G D
Well, I rolled a buss, and, I rolled a train, I take to work and home again
D A. G D
My wheel is a Wheelie my brakes are quite squeally, Turning and turning and not moving at all
4 doors that trap me and hold and wrap me, I’ll end in a dump tattered and worn,
My wheel is a Wheelie, my death will come surly, I am as mad as the hatter and rolling the dice,
I swerve and I swerve but never get home, I am a package of meat, found dead in the road,
G D G D
Well I rolled a buss, and, I rolled a train, I take to work and home again
D A. G D
A wheel is Wheelie, A wheel is Wheelie, A wheel is Wheelie, A Wheelie is I
Story of the Wheel
And, the story of the wheel is far from told,
As one wheel grows young, one wheel grows old,
the big wheel made the small wheel go
Actor 1 Finally, a wheel would sacrifice a wheel, spin his spooks and make its holes,
Actor 2 With rope and rope the wheel was tied and rolled and rolled,
Actor 3 And, split, and bit, and punched and poled,
Actor 1 And, it spent the night passing placed on a stone,
Actor 123 But on the 7th night, the Wheel was then, re-born.
Best American Songwriter 